Struggling with God

Life can be a struggle. In this series on grief, we have been looking at the stages of grief in a more biblical way: shock, sorrow, struggle, surrender, and suffering. After shock and sorrow comes struggle—the time when life simply doesn’t make sense.
There are three basic ways we struggle. We struggle with other people, we struggle with ourselves, and we struggle with God. Relationships are damaged by sin, so we experience conflict, misunderstanding, disappointment, and competition. We also fight battles inside ourselves—with fear, flaws, temptation, guilt, regret, and resentment. Paul describes this struggle in Romans 7 when he admits that he does not always do the good he wants to do. And finally, we struggle with God, usually because we doubt God's wisdom and want to be in control.
Jacob experienced all three.
Jacob struggled with his brother Esau, his wives, his father-in-law, his children, himself, and God. In fact, Genesis 32 gives us an extraordinary picture of Jacob literally wrestling through the night with a man representing God. Jacob had spent his life running, deceiving, manipulating, and trying to control circumstances. Now God brought him to a place where he could no longer run.
That night teaches us five important things about struggling with God.

First, the point of the encounter was not physical victory but spiritual transformation. God could easily have defeated Jacob. Instead, He allowed Jacob to struggle until Jacob understood what he truly needed: God's blessing.

Second, God lowered Himself to Jacob's level to engage him personally. Like a father getting down on his knees to wrestle with a small child, God allowed Jacob to engage with Him in a way Jacob could understand.

Third, the long struggle revealed Jacob's desperation and perseverance. Even after his hip was dislocated, Jacob refused to let go: “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” He was moving from self-reliance to dependence on God.

Fourth, the struggle prepared Jacob for a new identity. His old name, Jacob, means “deceiver.” It described the man he had been—someone who manipulated people and circumstances to get what he wanted. But God gave him a new name: Israel, “one who struggles with God.” Jacob did not overcome by defeating God. He overcame by persevering, holding on, and seeking God's blessing despite his pain and weakness.

Fifth, Jacob's experience shows how God often works in our lives. God confronts our self-reliance, draws us into struggle, wounds us to heal us, and weakens us so that we learn to depend on Him. Jacob walked away with God's blessing and a new identity—but he also walked away with a limp.
That limp reminds us that some struggles leave permanent marks. But struggling with God is better than running away from Him. God would rather have us wrestling with Him than ignoring Him. Jacob finally stopped running and held on.
And that is where transformation began.

God's deepest work is often in our identity. In Christ, the old can become new. We may enter the struggle trying to control everything like Jacob the deceiver, but God can change who we are.
Sometimes the blessing isn't that the struggle disappears.
Sometimes the blessing is that we come out of the struggle changed.