Learning to Walk Through Sorrow

Last week we began looking at grief and the different stages we may experience after a major loss. This week, we turn our attention to sorrow—the pain that often becomes real after the initial shock has faded.
When loss comes, there are several truths we need to remember.

1. Loss is unavoidable, but grief is a choice.
Life is filled with change, and change inevitably involves loss. We may lose a job, a relationship, our health, financial security, or someone we love. We cannot avoid the pain that comes with loss, but we can choose whether we will honestly grieve it.
Trying to ignore or deny our losses doesn't make them disappear. Unresolved grief can keep us emotionally and spiritually stuck. Grieving is painful, but it is also part of how God helps us move through the transitions of life. 

2. Grief is healthy.
Grief may be one of the most painful emotions we experience, but it is also a necessary one. Jesus Himself grieved. When Lazarus died, Jesus wept. He was described as a man acquainted with sorrow.
There are unhealthy ways of responding to loss, including repression and suppression—blocking painful emotions either unconsciously or deliberately. When we continually push grief down, it can eventually come out in unhealthy ways. 

3. God grieves with you.
God does not stand at a distance while we suffer. He enters into our pain. Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.”
When your heart is broken, God is not asking you to toughen up and get over it. He draws near to you in your sorrow. 

4. Grief is healed in community.
We were never designed to carry our burdens alone. Galatians 6:2 tells us to carry one another's burdens. When we are hurting, we need people who will simply be present with us.
And remember: comparing someone else's grief with your own doesn't comfort them. Everyone experiences loss differently. Instead of saying, “I know exactly how you feel,” sometimes the best thing we can do is simply listen and be there. 

5. Grief takes time.
You don't “get over” major losses. You get through them. Grief has its own timetable, and we cannot rush the process. Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is “a time to weep” and “a time to mourn.” 
So what can we do? Acknowledge our losses, identify what we have really lost, have the courage to lament, and ask Jesus to heal our broken hearts. 
Lament means bringing our pain honestly to God. We can tell Him about our anger, sorrow, fear, regrets, and disappointment. God can handle our honesty.
And when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we don't have to remain focused on the darkness. Wherever there is a shadow, there is also light. Turn toward Jesus, the Light of the World. 

Grief may be a valley, but it is not our destination. Keep walking. God is with you, and He will lead you through.